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Memorial created 08-12-2006 by
Zira Pereira DaSilva (Mom)
Timothy James Pereira DaSilva
July 28 1985 - July 15 2006

 

 

 <<<<<<  FOREVER  REMEMBERED &

         FOREVER OUR CHAMPION

  

This online memorial was created in loving memory of Timothy DaSilva, who made a huge impact on all those he touched, his life story will be told throughout this memorial website.  Please sign Timothy's guest book and let me know you came to visit, it will mean a lot to myself and my family.  Tim will live in our Hearts Forever!!! 

   

   

 

 This is more difficult than I ever thought it would be, to write about my wonderful, beautiful SON.  It is still too hard to believe that Tim is gone from our lives forever, that he is in heaven now, waiting for us to reunite one day.  Somehow, someway I'm getting the strength to write this and to go on everyday living, trying to be strong for my other two children, Jessica (24yrs) and Christopher (17yrs)  but the pain seems unberable most days and most nights.  No parent should out live their own children, there cannot be any greater pain than having to bury your own child.  I miss my Son Tim very very much, I cannot explain the void that I feel deep inside, the pain is very deep.  I still feel numb and in shock that Tim is gone.  Everyday I still wait and hope to hear Tim's voice or to get a telephone call or a text message from him, how I long for one of his special HUGS.  I would give anything in this world to see Tim alive even for one more second, if only I could just hold him close and tell him all the things that I didn't get to say.  As the days go on and on, it seems that it's all wishes and none of them will come true.  One day I believe that I will be reunited with my loving Son but until then how great the pain that I must endure for the rest of my days.  I will be missing TIM every second until I see him again.

 

 

 

  This poem was written by the  NEGENMANS  FAMILY  from Calgary, Canada - BMX:

 

"To  Tim  we must say goodbye... He wouldn't want to hear us cry.    A sweeter man we've never met... In our hearts we'll never forget!  The Angels came to take him home... Now we are left on earth to roam.  His time was long, yet seemed too short... To memories now we must resort.  For everyone he had a smile... And he loved to sit and talk awhile.  Now in our hearts Tim still lives on... Until our time on earth is gone.  Then once again we'll join our friend...  Together in time that will never end!"

 

 

 

 

 <<<<<<  Tim flying with his baby Diamondback!!!

Tim lived his dream in his short Life by becoming a pro BMX Senior Elite rider.  Tim lived to RACE & RIDE and to become the best in BMX racing just like his favourite movie "RAD" that he started watching at 3 years old.  Timmy had a beautiful smile since the day he was born.  Timmy truly enjoyed making his family and friends laugh, when Timmy was a little boy he used to say one day he would like to be a comedian.  Tim had great passion for BMX and for LIFE !!!

 

 

 

 

This is one of my favourite pictures of Tim  >>>>>> 

  Your smile will never be forgotten

Your voice I will forever miss hearing

Your hugs will always be missed

Everything about You will never be forgotten

Love,   Your  Mom

 

 

 

 <<<<<<  Waiting for Timmy's Arrival  -  July 1985

Timothy James Pereira DaSilva was born at Mt. Sinai Hospital, Toronto, Ontario, on a Sunday afternoon at 5:20 on July 28th, 1985.  Weighing 8lbs 3 ounces and measuring 22 inches long.  After two hard days of being in labour, our beautiful healthy baby boy came into the world and into OUR lives.  Timmy became a little brother to Jessica who had just turned 3 years old on July 3rd.   Jessica's eyes lit up the first time that she saw and held her baby brother, whom instantly become her "baby"!    As a family we were all very happy and blessed to have two beautiful children, and Daddy finally had his little boy to cherish and love.  On that same Sunday, my brother Joe and his fiance Mila Mesquita were having their "bridal shower" which I had organized with the help of my Mother and the ladies from the church but instead of attending the shower, I was blessed with Timmy's entrance to the world.  An hour later most of our family arrived at the hospital to have a peek at our Bundle of Love, Timmy!

 

 

 

And  so  Timmy's  Life  began...

Timmy was a very good baby, as long as he was fed he was happy, never cried much, never fussed much, he always woke up early and enjoyed his morning and afternoon naps, just before dinner he would have his daily bath and as soon as he was fed Timmy was out again for the night, he was truly a happy baby that never gave us much trouble at all.   But he loved his pacifiers... we always had at least 3 around, Timmy needed one in each hand and one in his mouth.  Often he would fall asleep rubbing one "chupeta" (pacifier) against his nose... it was so cute watching him.  Tim always looked so peaceful.  On December 31, 1988, Christopher Nicholas Pereira DaSilva became OUR third miracle for our family... a special little brother to Jessica (now 6 yrs old) and Timmy (now 3 yrs old) how they loved and cherish their new little brother, sometimes I would not have a chance to hold Christopher because both Jessica and Timmy would fight over who would get to hold the baby next.  I have many memories and stories to share but its late now, I will continue on another day.  Please bear with me as this site is still under construction and will be for quite a long time... Thank You

 

 

 
My Two Precious Angels - Jessica (3 yrs old) Timothy (2 months old)
Jessica was always a wonderful big Sister to Timmy
 
Timmy's First tricycle given by Tia Mila & Tio Joe Pereira for his First Easter
Timmy (2 years old)
 

<<<<<<  Timmy watching the movie RAD (3 years old) 

One morning we needed to go out to buy milk and bread.  Jessica, Timmy and I walked over to Macs Milk (corner store in London, Ontario), while I picking up the items I needed, Timmy saw a bike on the cover of a VHS movie - RAD.  Needless to say we had to rent that movie and from that day on we could not go by that store without renting it, as it became Timmy's all time favourite!   Timmy was only 3 years old but he would ride his little bike in the unfinished basement for hours, riding around and around the beam posts, making an 8 shape, he never got tired of riding.  It was the same with the movie RAD, Timmy wanted to watch it over and over.  Our family knew every word, song, every part, RAD became background noise in our household over the years. That was the beginning of Timmy's passion for BMX and his dream to one day be #1....just like CRU JONES (aka Bill Allen) 

 

 

 
Trying to be Serious
Happy!!!
 
Cool race car Daddy
Sorry I hurt you Jessie
 
Timmy's 3rd Birthday
My Three Beautiful Children = My World
 

 

 Timmy holding his Baby Brother Chris  >>>>>> 

 

Our third Angel - Christopher!  Timmy loved being a big brother to Chris and couldn't wait to teach him all his bike tricks, sometimes he would say  "Mommy please bring Chris downstairs so he watch me ride my bike"  As they grew up together, Chris followed Timmy everywhere!!!

 

 

 
My Two Handsome Little Boys
Timmy loved watching the movie RAD over and over again
 
How I miss the days when the Children were little...
Jessica on her First Communion Day with her two little Brothers
 

 

 

 <<<<<<  Summer  of  1994

  

 

Our First Family trip to Portugal. We went to visit "Portugal dos Pequeninos" which is a man made village with tiny little houses just high enough for little children to run through and wonder about.  Jessie, Timmy and Chris had so much fun that day, it was a great Family day!

 

 

 
Timmy's First Communion
Mommy, Timmy and Daddy
 
Grade 1 - Our Lady of Victory School, Milton, Ontario
Timmy's 4th Birthday with Tio Frankie looking on...
 
My Three Beautiful Children
Timmy was an Usher at Tio Frankie's Wedding - April 1990
 
Brother-in-law Jason Medeiros, Brother Christopher and Tim 2002
 

<<<<<<  Tim  at  BMX  Track  taking  it  all  in...

TIM, 

I miss You more and more every second of everyday, the weeks are flying by too quickly, it already has been over two months since you were taken from us.  Learning to live without You has to be the hardest endurance to live through!   I would give anything to have one more day with you, to have one more second to look at you and to see your beautiful smile once more, to hear your voice and see you laugh again.  I would tell you so many things that I never told you; I would tell you how much I Love YOU;  I would tell you how very proud I am of You and of the man that You became;  I would give you the biggest Hug;  I would go riding with you at the Track because I know you would have been proud to see me try it;  I would go down on my knees and beg you to forgive me if I ever hurt you.   Tim  I would just hold YOU in my arms forever and never let You go.       "Rest in Peace my Son"    Love,    Your Mamasita!

 

 

 

My Beautiful Children all grown up Christmas 2001>>

"You can shed tears because... You can't see or touch him anymore or You can smile because you hold him in your heart.  You can close your eyes and pray that he'll come back through the door or you can open your eyes and see him all around.  Your heart can be empty because you can't see him or you can be full of the love you share.  You can turn your back on tomorrow and live yesterday or you can be happy for tomorrow because of yesterday.  You can think about him and only that he's far away or you can cherish him as your friend and let your love live on.  You can cry and close your heart, be empty and turn your back or you can do what he'd want;  Smile,  Laugh,  Open your eyes,  Love, and  Live on.  You can feel him in your heart and see him in your mind...  HE LIVES ON!!!"

 

 

 

What a Grieving Mother Really Thinks  

"Hello old friend!  Oh yes, you know I lost my child a while ago.  No, no please don’t look away and change the subject.  It’s ok.  You see at first I couldn’t feel, it took so long, but now it’s real.  I hurt so much inside, you see, I need to talk, come sit with me?  You see, I was numb for so very long and people said  “My, she is so strong.”  They did not know I couldn’t feel, my broken heart made all unreal.  But then one day, as I awoke I clutched my chest, began to choke, such a scream, such a wail, broke from me...  My child! My child!  The horror of reality.  But everyone has moved on, you see, everyone except for me.  Now, when I need friends most of all, between us,  there now stands a wall.  My pain is more than they can bear, when I mention my child, I see their blank stare.  “But I thought you were over it,”  Their eyes seem to say--  No, no, I can’t listen to this, not today.  So I smile and pretend, and say, “Oh, I’m ok”.  But inside I am crying, as I turn away.  And so my old friend, I shall paint on a smile, as I have from the start.  You never knowing all the while, all I’ve just said to you in my heart"

 

 

 

My  Precious  SON  sleeping  >>>>>>

"He Only Took My Hand"

Last night while I was trying to sleep;  My son's voice I did hear.  I opened my eyes and looked around; but he did not appear.....  He said, "Mom, you've got to listen; You've got to understand;  God didn't take me from you all; He only took my hand.  When I called out in pain that night; The instant that I died;  He reached down and took my hand, and pulled me to His side.  He pulled me up and saved me;  From the misery and pain.  My body was hurt so badly.  I could never be the same.  My search is really over now;  I've found happiness within.  All the answers to my dreams;  And all that might have been.  I love you all and miss you so;  And I'll always be nearby.  My body's gone forever;  But my spirit will never die!  And, so you must all go on now; live one day at a time, just understand!  God didn't take me from you;  He only took my hand."          Author Unknown

 

 

 
 
 

 Tim  building  BMX  Track  the  day  before  he  died  >>>>>>

9 months have gone by... yet I still wait to see you... to hear your voice... to hear you running downstairs and say.....  "Hi Mamasita I'm home"  Tim I miss everything about YOU!  Life is not the same without YOU here.  You know how much I love your sister and brother and the rest of the family but nothing can fill the void in my heart.  I still cannot face the truth... but I know that day is fast approaching...  I am not sure if I can cope with the reality that I will never see you again in this lifetime.  My Son, wherever you are please always know how much I MISS YOU and LOVE YOU!!!  Until we meet again, I hold you Forever in my thoughts and my Heart.

Love,   Your  Mom   (April 15, 2007)

 

 

 

Tim,  

I have not been able to come on here for so long, it just hurts too much, time does not heal at all, it gets more real; it hurts more when the next day begins.  Yesterday I had such a hard day, seeing our family celebrate Adriana's 4th birthday and not seeing YOU there with us, it hurt so much my Son and I needed to come here and try to write to you.  Tim You know my pain, you know my heart is broken, you know how much love I have for You and our family.  I want to thank you for helping me and I need to ask you to forgive me for not being stronger, I am trying so hard...  on the outside everything seems normal but you know my heart...  only the day you take my hand will be the day my pain will end.   

I found this poem today and it almost seems as if you wrote to me:  

"My Mom is a survivor"  

My Mom is a survivor, or so I've heard it said.   But I hear her crying at night when all others are in bed.   I watch her lay awake at night and I go to hold her hand.  She doesn't know I'm with her to help her understand.  But like the sands on the beach that never wash away...  I watch over my surviving mom, who thinks of me each day.   She wears a smile for others...   a smile of disguise.   But through Heaven's door I see tears flowing from her eyes.   My mom tries to cope with death to keep my memory alive.   But anyone who knows her knows it is her way to survive.   As I watch over my surviving mom...    through Heaven's open door.   I try to tell her that angels protect me forever more.   But I know that doesn't help her or ease the burden she bears.    So if you get a chance, go visit her...   And show her that you care.    For no matter what she says...   no matter what she feels.    My surviving mom has a broken heart that time won't ever heal!"  

I love YOU Tim with all my heart, please stay close to me always!

 Forever Your   Mom

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

 

 

 
 

SON

No farewell words were spoken,

no time to say goodbye,

you were gone before we knew it,

and only God knows why.

 

 

 
 

Imagine…

 
Imagine…
A cannon ball shot through your heart or stomach
Yet you live and breath still
You FEEL the empty hole the cannon ball has left
You feel the weight of it inside, as if it will suffocate you
You feel the intense pain of this great wound
Yet your eyes see no hole there, no blood, no torn flesh
 
Imagine…
You have lost all feeling
All will to live
Even the will to love
All of your purpose in life
The ability to laugh
Smile
Eat
Sleep
Self control
You are numb inside
You are afraid of nothing
You are afraid of everything
 
Imagine…
If you do eat
You feel guilty because your child cannot
If you smile
You feel guilty because your child cannot
If you feel any degree of enjoyment out of anything
You feel guilty because your child cannot
 
Imagine…
You forget everything
To eat
To sleep
To pay bills
To buy food
What day it is
What week or month it is
To keep appointments
To care for your loved ones
To care for your friends
To care for your pets
To care for yourself
All the little things
All the important things
You forget where you put things and search endlessly
The one thing you cannot forget is that your child is dead
 
Imagine…
Every memory haunts you
Even the good ones
They flood your mind all at once
Fearing they will be lost
 
Imagine…
Days without sleep
Sleeping for days
Just being in a limbo haze
Nightmares that invade your only escape
Seeing your child alive and well in a dream
Knowing he is really dead
And waking up wondering if his death was really just a nightmare
 
Imagine…
Your child being killed in an accident
Wondering what really happened
And envisioning the scene
As if you were there
Like a movie it plays in your head over and over
He is dead
No pause or stop button to shut it off
It begins and ends on a random reel
No matter your mood or where you are
It comes to haunt you when you least expect
 
Imagine…
Trying to remember your child
But all you can remember is the day you were told he died
All you can remember is that day and the following days of his funeral
As much as you push it away from your mind
It haunts you day and night
 
Imagine…
You loose all focus
You make mistakes on things you know how to do
You forget how to do things you used to know how to do
You read but don’t know what you’ve read
You watch TV but sit and absorb nothing
You talking about something and loose what you were trying to say
You use the wrong words or mispronounce words
You have difficulty talking and making sense
You set out to drive somewhere familiar but you get lost
You set out to go somewhere and end up going somewhere else
You repeat yourself
 
Imagine…
Your once strong faith, crumbles to the ground
You even wonder at times if there is a God
You feel betrayed by him
You feel forsaken
Sometimes you scream at him for not saving your child
Sometimes you beg him and plead with him to bring your child back
You would give anything for one more Day
But you know one more day wouldn’t be enough
You want to have faith but it’s so hard to
You just don’t know what to believe 
 
Imagine…
Time…
If your child died on a Saturday, you will hurt extra bad every Saturday
If your child died on the 15th, every 15th of every month will hurt extra bad
Three days have passed and you don’t even notice
Three weeks have passed but it only feels like one week
Three months have passed but it only feels like one month
 
Imagine…
Time feels like it’s moving at warp speed
Yet each days creeps by while you just want to die
You hope what they say is true
That you will reunite with your child one day…
 
Imagine…
Waking up every morning with your first thought automatically being
“My Child is DEAD”
 
Imagine…
Wanting so desperately to be left alone
You don’t want to see anyone
You don’t want to hear anyone
Even strangers going on about their business
The sun coming up each morning reminds you
It’s just another day of torture and you are afraid to hold on
Yet afraid to let go
Yet at the same time you don’t want to be alone
 
Imagine…
Being around people that overwhelms you to the point of madness
The things they talk about
Especially when they complain about their child
When they don’t appreciate their child
And complain about trivial things
Yet you too complain about trivial things
Knowing NOTHING is as bad as your child dying
 
Imagine…
Being around people that overwhelms you
Hearing about their child doing well in school
Graduating from college
Going on a family vacation
Getting a job
Getting married
Having their own Child
When you know your child will never get to do those things
 
Imagine…
No one understands you
You don’t even understand yourself
No one understands your pain
Yet you don’t wish anyone to feel your pain
You don’t trust yourself
Family and friends
God
Because…
The worst has happened
Your child is Dead
Never coming back
The reality replays over and over in your mind
Your child is dead
Never coming back
Your child is dead
Never coming back
Your child is dead
Never coming back
 
Imagine…
It’s been 2 years since your child was alive
The numbness has worn off
The full realization of what has happened begins to sink in
Your child is never coming through that door again
Your child will never call you on the phone again
You will never hear his voice again
His laughter
See his smile
See his bright eyes
Feel his touch
Feel his warm loving hugs
Wipe his tears
Smell him
 
Imagine…
It’s been over 3 years since your child died
You feel like you have been sucked into a time vacuum
How can it possibly be more than THREE YEARS???
Life has gone on…
Without your child
Without you…
Life has gone on all around you
 
Imagine…
CAN YOU IMAGINE???
 
 
  
 
 
My Tattoo
 

Please sign the guestbook and let me know you came to visit, it will mean a lot to myself and my family.   If you have any pictures or stories that you would like to share about Tim,  please send them to:

ziradasilva@rogers.com

Thank you for visiting and  please come back again soon

Love & Hope 

 

 

 
Tim's Tattoo
 

 

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